Change of scenery


It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

I’ve been a tiny bit busy lately. I know, any excuse for not updating you with the inner workings of my little brain. But I really have been busy.

You know that job I didn’t think I’d get?

I got it.

So I have gone from grumbling through three days a week of misery in the Hellhole Known as My Previous Employer to spending my days playing with numbers, reading reports and going on excursions (today, I saw the Premier). Much more satisfying and dare I say it, enjoyable. BUT I am now working five whole days a week. And I am now a commuter. Yes, I have joined the ranks that trek up the highway to the Big Smoke. This commuting trek is only for a relatively short time, at which point we shall be able to resume our usual programming, as I will not be spending three and a half hours a day getting to and from work. Unsuprisingly, this renders me somewhat comatose at the end of the day. My brain is full of exciting tales for your reading pleasure, so there is plenty for you to look forward to – eventually.

Now, just to tide you over, I am going to share with you a snippet or ten about my commute. My wonderful and courteous new employer believe that a happy work force leads to a productive workplace. This is such a change from working in the Hellhole (coffee, anyone? Piece of fruit? Oh, what about a massage…); and in the interests of convenience for the staff, they are running a bus so that we don’t have to squeeze onto the train, which is an adventure in itself.

My preferred mode of transport is the Train. This is primarily because the bus doesn’t always suit me; and also because, despite my advancing years, I still get car sick if I so much as put my head down in a moving vehicle. This means reading, writing – anything more than staring mindlessly out a window or having a wee kip means I am liable to lose my lunch. Whilst sometimes it’s nice to stare aimlessly out the window, on a regular basis it feels like a waste of *me* time. So I tend to catch the train. But the train comes with it’s own set of interesting drawbacks.

1. I catch a train fairly early in the morning. Not as early as some, but still early. Normally, I get there early enough to see the “special train”. The Special Train is a gentleman of advancing years. On a push bike. Wearing a hard hat. Every morning at about 6.53am, he blows a horn and pedals along past the platform as fast as he can. Making train noises. Cracks me up, it does. Every morning, just before the 6.56 arrives – there he is.

2. I get on the train at the second stop in the morning. This means that if I position myself close enough to the edge of the platform and if I have my elbows at the correct height, I can finangle my way into the carriage and get myself a nice, comfy seat. This is a good thing. If I got on one stop later… I’d be STANDING for the entire journey. That wouldn’t be so much fun. Coming home, I sometimes catch the bus, but mostly catch the 16.55. This train is Old Skool. It has compartments! It’s an old diesel loco and takes for ever to stop at all stations. But hey, can stretch out and relax.

3. Things I like about travelling on the train… I can read (no, I do NOT know why I don’t get sick on trains); I can catch up with reading reports and the like for work, too. But mostly, I just read. Uninterrupted 50 minutes of reading time – bliss! In the afternoons, I have been getting MX which is the free paper, reading it and attempting to do the puzzles before I toss down the whole thing in disgust when I stuff up the suduko. I used to be lucky to read a book in two weeks - now, I am reading about two or three a week. I like listening in to other people’s conversations, too. Like you know she’s gone all like weird you know like she’s studying and stuff like and she’s not mucking up like. Like. Teenagers are like you know… Like.

4. Things I don’t like so much about travelling on the train. Aside from the whole three and a bit hours total commute and all that… You’d be thinking that in the morning at least, most people would have had some kind of interaction with the whole soap and water scenario. Well, you’d be wrong. Soap is apparently optional for rather a substantial proportion of the average city commuter. And the wearing of the expensive clothing is not an accurate predictor of how close the wearer has been to the shower that day. This is most noticable when I am squeezing myself onto the Loop train in the morning.

5. I am also not so keen on the pressure I put myself under in order to catch a train that gets me home in time to say “Hi” to the Bloke Of The House and the offspring. After a particularly fraught evening involving skin of ones teeth and the sight of Fair Harriet RUNNING (and been damn grateful for flat shoes and the wearing of trousers, I tell you what); an alarm has been set up on my computer to advise me that it’s TIME TO GO NOW, ok?

6. And techincally, it’s not *A* train that I catch in the morning – it’s two trains. I have to change trains in the morning – push my way off the first train, using as many skills as I needed to get *on* it in the first place; trundle up and down ramps and across platforms to find the right train that’s headed my way. Then I get to shoehorn my way onto the Loop train. Quite frankly, this is an experience. An unpleasant one. Particularly for all the people who get whacked in the head and randomly stepped on by Little Miss Incompetent… Yes, that would be me. I’m a danger to myself and everyone around me, and I am armed with a backpack, so watch out!

So there you have it. This is week five of thirteen weeks of commuting. I am sure that by Christmas I will indeed be able to change trains without maiming anyone AND walk up the escalator at Parliament Station without being a coronary candidate three quarters of the way to the top!

I believe I may have mentioned at some point that in addition to being your humble correspondent and Wayward Domestic Goddess; I am indeed gainfully employed as a Slave for Wages in a large and bureaucratic nightmare. What I haven’t mentioned is that the aforementioned position is about as stimulating and challenging as a bowl of cottage cheese. Whilst I am not asking the eternal question of “Would you like fries with that?” I am sure that it is only a matter of time before the Powers that Be decree that the addition of a deep fryer behind reception can only be an improvement to the quality of service provided, and I can indeed add that phrase to my repertoire.

 

I may also have mentioned that I have a short attention span…Oh look, a tractor!

 

Now, where was I?

 

That’s right…Underwhelmed and under stimulated. In fact, to be perfectly frank, bored out of my tiny little mind. So what’s a girl to do? The last time I found myself in this position, I decided a spot of further education would be just the ticket. But I’ve been there and done that and got the pretty piece of paper hanging on my wall to prove it.

 

Pretty piece of paper…

 

Ahhh, I have an Arts Degree. What can one do with an Arts Degree? Hmm. One can deliver fries with a smile, wait on tables, clean toilets, make beds, fold laundry… Wait a second, that describes my life of Domestic Goddessery. No, there has to be more than that. Ooooh. Looking up stuff. I can do that. I am rather good at doing that and here’s a job that does just that…

 

What? Apply for another job? Are you insane? Find another job and leave the bosom of the large and bureaucratic nightmare? Where I am bored and frustrated and slowly going around a very twisty bend? What a splendid idea, chaps!

 

So I exhumed the resume – it’s a wonder how well parchment holds up over time; caught up with the last hundred years or so, whipped up a letter outlining my general fabulousness and sent it all off into the ether. Done. And dusted. And as a creative writing exercise, not a bad thing.

 

And then they called me…

 

Eek!

 

And no, that was not a mouse. THAT was the noise my faculties made when they left the building. My goodness gracious me, I felt like Sally Field at the Oscars – “They like me, they really like me”. But bloody hell, that means a job interview. And it had well and truly been a long long time between drinks. On the positive side, the last job I went for, I did actually get. On the negative side, that was so long ago that children who were born on that day can actually vote now! Things have changed, too. Back then it was all a bit of a chat and when can you start? Now, it’s all behavioural interviews and tell us about your strengths and weaknesses.

 

How does one make being a scatterbrained chatterbox with a really short attention span seem like an attractive proposition, anyway? And most importantly, what on earth do I wear!?! It’s the dead of winter, global warming appears to be on hold, or all the frozen air is being blown straight away from Antarctica or something and apparently it’s not the done thing to wear trousers to a job interview.

 

There was one thing to be done – pantyhose. I shall briefly mention here exactly how much I loathe pantyhose and the whole torturous contortionisms that are required to get ones slightly longer than average legs into a sheer nylon tube designed for legless midgets.

 

Anyway, pantyhose on, small children more than slightly freaked out (“what happened to your legs, mummy? They’ve gone all black” from the Big Kid, and “oooh take it off, take it off” from the Little Kid; which probably indicates how long it has been since I have worn pantyhose.) There were trains to be caught, and people to be impressed.

 

The auspices were not great – three hours sleep the night before, they had my name wrong at the door; and I had to wait for 15 minutes. Just long enough to get sweaty. Fabulous. The interview went well enough that I wasn’t upset with my performance. I made eye contact, I had some answers prepared. Not to the questions they asked, but since when has that been a problem? They seemed like lovely people, and the chances of me seeing any of them ever again?

 

Buckley’s and none.

 

I don’t think I am what they’re looking for… But I don’t feel like I have lost out. In fact, I feel like I have gained a lot from the experience. I have an up to date resume. I know I am attractive to a prospective employer on paper, at least. And I have successfully completed one job interview. Not only that, I have discovered that an Arts Degree could possibly be a passport out of Hell and even a ticket to a more exciting place. Most importantly, I have acknowledged that I don’t need to stay where I am forever. And failing getting out, I can always get some more education to stop me going postal…

On the recommendation of some fellow Bloggers, I have made the gradual transition from Blogger to WordPress which appears to have many more fun tricks and cool toys to play with.

I have been given a Personal Challenge by a friend, and that is to write two pieces a month. I am making it a New Years Revolution to give myself a fair crack at the challenge, because that pesky life business has a way of getting in the way of best laid plans. However, stranger things have happened and inspiration can strike at any moment.